


Take Me Out

by V_r_frost



Category: Original Work
Genre: Dark Comedy, Flash Fiction, Horror, Original Character(s), Paddy McGuinness, Parody, take me out (tv show)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 18:44:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15588327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/V_r_frost/pseuds/V_r_frost
Summary: Jeff meets his dream girl on everyone's favourite dating-based game show.(A parody of the show Take Me Out - not really a fanfiction.  Paddy is only mentioned, sorry to disappoint.)





	Take Me Out

The studio lights are glimmering as Paddy McGuinness leads Jeff up the steps, hand in hand with his new girlfriend. Off to the Isle of Fernando’s, with the audience’s screams ringing in his ears.

Jeff thinks that this must be the best day of his life. Hopefully, he thinks, it is the beginning of a succession of ‘best days,’ which just keep on getting better. Sure, maybe things will be the same, in some respects. He’ll still trek to the same call centre every day, and come face to face with Mike or Jennifer, or that dreary receptionist whose name he forgets. He’ll have to sit through hours of traffic just to get there, with that beautiful view of wilting plants and power stations. For a while, at least, he’ll also have to wake up to those same, peeling green walls, which he really does mean to paint over, sometime…

But no, his life has changed forever. Bella is the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. All red curls and long eyelashes and long legs. She’s kind, too. Paddy says she looks after stray dogs, and she wasn’t even deterred by Jeff’s model car collection. No, she’s perfect, he thinks, as they walk towards the shimmering, luminous screen at the end of the path. Off to the Isle of Fernando’s. Then anywhere, everywhere.

As they pass through the doors, it’s dark, but Jeff’s heart feels as shiny and as new as the dazzling stage lights. They leave spots on his eyes which move like ballroom dancers in the darkness. He turns to Bella with a big smile, which is when he finds himself staring down the barrel of a gun. There’s no time for him to think. She has already pulled the trigger.

And then, utter darkness.

Bella smiles as she hands the gun to a security guard, another two catching the body before it even hits the floor. Well. He did ask her to take him out, after all.


End file.
